5 tips for being on top

Question:

So I love sex like really love sex lol. It is one of my favorite things to talk about. I am all about learning new things and the one thing that I feel that I struggle with is riding. I love to be in control and want to do it but I haven’t had sex in so long that I do not feel as if I'm flexible enough to do it. Could you give any stretching tips and just general tips on how to ride? I want to take souls lol

Answer:

Hello love,

Thank you so much for your question. We definitely understand the physical aspect of riding, how it requires stamina, energy, muscle control, and how empowering it can be. From being in control, managing the stroke, to taking souls, riding has many benefits for the rider and the ridee. One great piece of advice we were once given was that riding is a chance to practice confidence. If you embody the powerful, erotic being within you, it increases the likelihood of creating a pleasurable sexual experience. Here are a few recommendations to enhance your riding skills and experience.

1) ways to enhance your flexibility

Flexibility isn’t just needed for acrobatic sex positions, it allows for a strong foundation to thrive in any and all positions. A great place to start in regaining or enhancing your flexibility is yoga.  Yoga can greatly help with your flexibility and opening up your hips to more comfortably be on top, open your pelvic area for more movement, and help you to manage your breathing. If you are looking for yoga videos you can do at home, check out Arianna Elizabeth, This Curvi Yogi, and Yirser Ra Hotep. A quick google search can also help you find some more focused stretches for sex as well.

2) technique, technique, technique

Another option to up your riding game is to work on your technique. Some people are more about rocking back and forth, moving side to side, or grinding in a circular motion. We recommend experimenting with movement and discovering what you and your partner find pleasurable. In addition to exploring movement, you can explore different positions that feel good to you. Some people find that an easy-on-the-knees position is to straddle their partner while kneeling, as opposed to squatting. In that position, you'll be able to control the ride by managing your movements, pace, and depth of penetration. Enhance your comfort while riding by adding pillows for more cushion under the ridee or your knees. If you are looking to enhance your riding game we suggest checking out Goody Howard’s RIDEology workshop. This workshop teaches you positions and techniques to feel more comfortable while being on top and creating a pleasurable experience for you and your partner.  

3) it’s a marathon, not a race

Another way to prepare for this popular sex position is to increase your stamina. The higher your stamina, the longer you can ride. There are a variety of ways to increase stamina, from traditional cardio to more leg focused exercises like squats, frog stretches and lunges. Masturbating in a position similar to riding is also an option for enhancing your riding skills. That could mean masturbating by riding a pillow or just squatting on a dildo or other type of insertable toy. Increase your stamina by switching positions during sex. Try moving through traditional cowgirl (or being on top), to reverse cowgirl (on top and facing away from your partner), to riding your partner while they sit in a chair. Moving through different positions will help minimize the chance of getting cramps.

4) more ways of control than being on top

Though being on top is a great way of taking control in the bedroom, it is not the only way. You and your partner can also play with power dynamics. That could look like you having a say as to how sexual activities play out: choosing the positions or telling them what to do and when. Another option for control is using a blindfold on your partner. Restricting their sight also builds the anticipation of what is to come. Not knowing what you might do to them next gives you a lot of control in the sexual scenario. You can also be in control by telling your partner to use toys on you while you are riding. Hand them a toy and tell them to stimulate your clitoris, nipples, anus, or other pleasure zones. Show them how you like to be stimulated and tell them to keep going until you tell them to stop.

5) hydration is all the hype

The last thing to remember while riding is to hydrate. Cramps are a big factor in taking people off their high horse (pun intended), so making sure you drink water and are well hydrated is important. To even better ensure that Charlie and their horse don’t cramp your riding style, be sure to have some potassium before riding. Deepthroat a banana or just throw back your Flintstone vitamin, whatever is easiest for you.

There are so many pieces that play into a pleasurable ride. Drink lots of water, do some sex stretches, and remember, riding is all about the reins. If you have control and confidence the ride will be one to remember. So enjoy the ride and the souls will be yours. 

With pleasure, peace, and power, 

Dalychia & Rafaella